Prophets in Their Own Country?

When I thought I was nearly finished with bk 3 of the Linda Wallheim Mormon mystery series (Time and All Eternities) in November of 2015, I read about the policy of exclusion, which states that same-sex married couples are to be excommunicated and their children denied saving ordinances like baptism until they are age eighteen and disavow their parents’ marriage. For the next few days, I listened to devout Mormons insist this was a hoax (famous ex-Mormon John Dehlin had leaked it from the secret Mormon handbook). Then it was confirmed and a few months later, proclaimed revelation from God by the now president of the church Russell M. Nelson.

At this point, I had a decision to make. I could figure out some way to set the book back in time so I didn’t have to deal with the change in doctrine/policy (and deal with it in the next book instead) or I could revamp the book, which was supposed to be about polygamy. I chose the latter course of action and it cost me in the next months as I revised the book over and over again, trying to figure out what my own reactions to the policy were and how to write the arguments between Linda and Kurt that reflected a lot of the arguments I was having in reality or in my mind with more orthodox Mormons around me, who immediately started defending the policy. One told me that it was “in line with other Mormon teachings.” Another told me that it was “no big deal” because how many people would this really affect, since “gays” didn’t tend to stay within the Mormon church.

I wrote an essay (number #7) that was published by Huffington about the policy (“13 Ways to Protest the New Policy”) that went viral enough that friends of mine emailed me to ask if I was really the same Mette who had written it (I was). I outed myself very publicly not just as an ally but as a vocal critic of the church and I continue to do this on other topics, as well. This hasn’t made my church membership easier than it was. Mostly I protected myself by unfriending nearly everyone in my Mormon ward (and in my extended family) to protect myself from their comments and judgments on-line and their silent judgments.

Then I put my head down and worked on the book. I could have made other choices, but I didn’t and one main reason why is that I really do still feel “called” to this work in a way that I used to talk about my religious feelings within a more orthodox Mormon context. I don’t see the world in quite the same black and white way anymore, but I still feel that once I know what is right and wrong, I am duty bound to defend it to the nth degree, no matter what the personal cost.

So Linda and Kurt argue in the book. Kurt stomps off, which turned out to be convenient to the plot because he needed to not be there to put the brakes on Linda’s impulsive amateur detecting work. But I stewed for months about how to end the story (ask my editor and she can show you all the drafts). A friend finally made the suggestion to me that Kurt could agree to wear a rainbow ribbon to church, one of the suggestions I make to allies in my own post on ways to protest the new policy. I wrote that in, and it worked. Linda and Kurt’s marriage was saved! (At least until the next book.)

I never set out to write about Mormonism. When I was starting out, I did everything I could to avoid any direct reference to Mormonism. The first book I published was The Monster In Me, set in Heber, Utah with a never-named Mormon family. I was afraid that non-Mormons would tell me they hated Mormons and that Mormons would tell me not to write about our culture/religion like that. It seemed a Catch 22. So I managed to write what I felt “called” to write, my truth, via YA fantasy. It worked for a long time, until it didn’t work anymore.

So now I write Mormon mysteries for a largely non-Mormon audience. I feel like Mormons are so used to being fed Deseret Book stories about nearly perfect Mormon families with only tiny little problems to deal with, or big problems that can be dealt with in a specifically devout way, and if they come to my books, are offended by my depiction of Mormons as deeply flawed as any other humans on the planet. Non-Mormons, on the other hand, can’t fathom why Mormons don’t like my sympathetic and honest portrayal, since the “Stepford Wives” kind of portrayal of Mormons has been creeping them out for a long time.

No prophet is accepted in her own country, perhaps?

I hope I never have to write a book as difficult as For Time and All Eternities Again. I really, really hope so.