On the Porch Steps

Can we all agree that the big story of The Book of Mormon is that the “good guys” (the Nephites) are constantly getting proud of themselves for how righteous they are, and then have to be smitten by God through the “bad guys” (the Lamanites). The Nephites fight war after war with the supposedly “uncivilized” and “savage” Lamanites, but when Christ comes to the Americas, it’s the Lamanites who are there to greet Him. The Lamanites become His people. In the end, when everything goes to shit, the Lamanites are at least a little less bad than the Nephites, who are completely destroyed. The promises of God are for the descendants of the Lamanites, right? It seems to me that Mormons are constantly forgetting that the lesson of The Book of Mormon is about us. We’re the ones who get proud. We’re the ones who think that we “deserve” blessings. We’re the ones who stand on the Rameumptum at times and pray about how blessed we are to be God’s special children. We’re the ones who are going to ...

One of the talks in General Conference was about the importance of understanding the aspects of our Heavenly Father, so that we can become like him. I must admit that for me, having listened to most of General Conference without a female speaker (even the Women's Session was more male voices than female voices), I couldn't help but think that this man was speaking to other men. That men ultimately matter more because men are going to be the leaders of the church, and of course, we want to pay special attention to them. So, listen up men, this is what God is like. You need to be like him. And I wonder who I'm supposed to be like. There are throwaway references to Heavenly Parents, but rarely any reference to Heavenly Mother and very, very little doctrinally known about her, except for the stereotypical traits of binary womanhood: submissive, shy, feminine, obedient, and so on. I try to explain to the men in my life why it is that it's important to me that women spea...

When I started on my path to understanding the world differently, I believed that the people who were really close to me, who knew me and knew that I was a "good" person would always be on my side. I believed that if they had to choose between me and the Mormon church, they'd choose me. By that I mean that I believed they would choose to listen to me and engage with me rather than simply rejecting me out of hand. I believed that they would continue to believe I was a "good" person whether or not I followed the "rules" of Mormonism. In retrospect, this was a pretty naïve belief. I'd already seen two siblings leave the church. And had I chosen my siblings? No, I hadn't. I chose the church. That's not how I thought of it, of course. I thought that I was choosing the right. I thought I was choosing sanity and goodness and family and values and Christ and truth. I thought that if they were going to head off in the wrong direction, I was act...